School Starts Too Early

I can't believe that my childrens' summer vacation is over. School starts on Monday for both Tyler, who starts 4th grade, and Julia, who will begin Kindergarten. I am going on the record and saying that I think starting school the second week of August in Phoenix is absolutely absurd. Whoever came up with this idea is completely out of his or her mind. Never mind that school just ended like two weeks ago; how about checking a nearby thermostat before making the decision to start school during the hottest month of the year.

Last night, I attended my first of several open houses for parents - you know, the meeting where the parents go and meet the teacher and learn his or her teaching philosophy and see all the fun things that he or she has in his or her classroom. (I am tired of being politically correct - from this point forward, I will assume that all grade school teachers are female) I noticed a few things that are worthy of mention during this open house. First, the temperature outside was about 113 degrees. It was 6PM. 113 degrees. It was ridiculous. Second, the temperature inside the classroom was about 108 degrees. Perfect learning atmosphere.

Another tidbit that I found interesting was when the teacher kindly told us that for the first few months, recess would be held INSIDE the classroom. Huh? We were informed that it is just too hot to do anything outside. Really? Too hot to go outside and play ball when it's 115 degrees?? Are you sure?? This was just after we were shown the brand new state-of-the-art playground that is right outside the kindergarten door complete with a metal swingset and astroturf. I immediately envisioned Julia jumping onto the swingset and getting 3rd degree burns on her legs and backside and then, in an effort to escape further agony, jumping off the swingset and landing on the astroturf and losing about eight layers of skin. Wonderful, no outside recess until Halloween.

Finally, the teacher informed us that we would be required to send at least one giant cold water bottle to school with our five year old to prevent what the teacher referred to as "unavoidable dehydration". Unavoidable dehydration?? Unbelievable.

I don't claim to be a genius (OK, sometimes I do, but this doesn't take a genius to figure out). However, I have come up with a way to avoid all of the aforementioned problems that will await my child when kindergarten starts next week. (Drumroll) DON'T START KINDERGARTEN NEXT WEEK!! Why in the world do we feel like we need to start school so early? Would it really hurt to start school a couple of weeks or a month later? It would still be hot, but not excruciating. Maybe recess would actually be fun then too. Maybe we could actually send our daughter to kindergarten without worrying about her unavoidable dehydration.

Julia, my new kindergartner, is ecstatic about starting school on Monday. I will send her with a giant water bottle, a huge hug and a kiss, and I will pretend that I am really happy about it. I just hope the air conditioning gets fixed over the weekend.